Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Tell It Better: Using stories to get more out of your negotiations

I've trained a lot of executives in using a conversational or "TED style" in their presentations, which incorporates lots of storytelling skills. But the skeptics among them think that storytelling equals showing off. When it comes to "real" business--like negotiation with a client, customer, or supplier, say--storytelling doesn't belong, they believe. Howard Baker once said, "The most difficult thing in any negotiation, almost, is making sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the facts." And that thinking has carried the day for a long time.

But what if I told you that storytelling can unlock what's on the mind of your negotiation partner?

In Harvard Business Review's The secret to negotiation is reading people's faces, it's acknowledged that many negotiations turn on emotional responses. But, as the author notes, "experienced negotiators know how to mask their true feelings...Or they’re able to convincingly fake an emotion if they think it will help them advance their own interests." She tested micro-expressions--those lasting just 1/25th of a second--and people's ability to read them.

The trick is to get your negotiation partner to give up some facial expressions, to give you a clue as to her thinking. And one of the tools the article recommends is storytelling. This is one case when your being talkative is going to help:
Negotiators have an easier time controlling their expressions when they’re talking. So don’t ask too many open questions. Instead describe what you want or share an anecdote about another negotiating partner who shared concerns similar to theirs and watch how they respond as they listen. Their guard will lower a little and you’ll be able to see their honest reactions to what you’re saying — knowledge to guide the rest of the conversation.
You're looking for those little involuntary facial movements when you watch their reactions. Use your storytelling to fish for insights the next time you negotiate.

(Creative Commons licensed photo by perzon seo)

Don't get caught unprepared, speechless, or without a message, but do catch me on Twitter, on Google+, and on the don't get caught page on Facebook--all great places to add your comments to the discussion. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter, Speakers & Communicators, to make sure you don't miss a thing on my blogs and get the first news about new workshops and projects.

Friday, October 20, 2017

The weekend read

Let's have a double shot and power through this Friday, shall we communicators? After all, the weekend is just ahead. Savor your shots with my finds of the week, shared via @dontgetcaught on Twitter and don't get caught on Facebook, and curated here for you. Caffeine FTW...
(Creative Commons licensed photo by brian)

Don't get caught unprepared, speechless, or without a message, but do catch me on Twitter, on Google+, and on the don't get caught page on Facebook--all great places to add your comments to the discussion. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter, Speakers & Communicators, to make sure you don't miss a thing on my blogs and get the first news about new workshops and projects.

Friday, October 13, 2017

The weekend read

Been sawing wood at work this week, communicators? Time to stack it up and light a fire with my finds of the week, shared via @dontgetcaught on Twitter and don't get caught on Facebook, and curated here for you. What better way to greet the weekend than with a roaring fire?
(Creative Commons licensed photo by Harry McGregor)

Don't get caught unprepared, speechless, or without a message, but do catch me on Twitter, on Google+, and on the don't get caught page on Facebook--all great places to add your comments to the discussion. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter, Speakers & Communicators, to make sure you don't miss a thing on my blogs and get the first news about new workshops and projects.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

"I know what he looks like in a windbreaker:" Image after disaster

I heard a little death knell in coverage of Lin-Manuel Miranda's effort to raise funds for Puerto Rico in the aftermath of Hurrican Maria, or what sounded like it. It may be that we've moved past, as a nation, the carefully sculpted image of the public executive in the wake of a disaster. From the New York Times:
Mr. Miranda was too busy completing the track to engage with Mr. Trump’s visit to the island on Tuesday. “If he’s announcing that he’s going to do an unprecedented push for aid, great,” he said. “Short of that I don’t need to watch. I know what he looks like in a windbreaker.”
The windbreaker is a shorthand reference to a phenomenon that's only been around since 1965, according to the Responder in Chief episode of John Dickerson's Whistlestop podcast. It's a great look at how the idea of the U.S. president as "action hero" evolved, starting with Lyndon Baines Johnson in 1965 after Hurricane Betsy hit New Orleans, pictured above. Johnson blurted out a promise of assistance, the locals were very greatful, and the congressional delegation from the area had another chit called in--because that's what prompted this visit, an unwitting model. Before this, there were none of the high-profile visits to which we have become accustomed.

You'll note that LBJ is in an ordinary suit, but this was not to last. Over the past 40+ years, advisers have advised their public executives to make appearances in disasters dressed for the occasion: windbreaker, rolled-up sleeves, caps, appropriate shoes. I've certainly done it, and it makes sense that the responder-in-chief, be it a state official or U.S. President, dress appropriately.

The entire form seems to have jumped the shark this week, or at least turned a corner, with the U.S. President releasing a video supercut of highlights of his visit to Puerto Rico, and, apparently not happy with the response to his action-hero effort, this tweet:
I like the context provided by Dickerson's podcast, which walks you right through how we got here today, and how different our expectations of public officials were once upon a time...as well as how important it has always been to the forgotten people on the ground that there be some level of response. Especially interesting is how the phenomenon was fueled by television optics over the years.

That visual aspect of post-disaster PR could next involve VR, virtual reality. Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg highlighted that in a tech demo, using VR to "visit" Puerto Rico post-hurricane. But he was widely criticized for insensitivity in doing so, and had to apologize. Perhaps the incident confirms that the public prefers "boots on the ground" approaches still, even from non-public-officials.

No matter what technology is involved, without a substantive response behind all that window- and action hero-dressing, you can expect responses like Miranda's. Applying a windbreaker does not an action hero make. So before you stock your CEO's office closet with outdoor gear, work on the substance of your response--and your statements--first. Otherwise, you're just a windbreaker.

(LBJ Library photo of President Lyndon B. Johnson, Cong. Hale Boggs, and Sen. Russell Long surveying damage to New Orleans by Hurricane Betsy, 1965. Photo A1271-22 by Yoichi Okamoto)

Don't get caught unprepared, speechless, or without a message, but do catch me on Twitter, on Google+, and on the don't get caught page on Facebook--all great places to add your comments to the discussion. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter, Speakers & Communicators, to make sure you don't miss a thing on my blogs and get the first news about new workshops and projects.